[ looks him back in the eye. and there's racing behind the black and yellow. so much feeling it hurtles toward a blank-expression equilibrium. nodd preparing himself. ]
If we talk about this...
[ deep in- and exhale ]
I don't know how to be your friend. If we don't, I can. So.
I'm a lot older than you, Dion. I've been told 'no' and 'screw off' and less pleasant versions of the same before. I've had 'romantic feelings' before. I don't need to hear--
[ uggggh. coughing into a fist and then using opposite fingers to stuff flowers into a little mashed petal ball. go away. ]
[ MY SWEET NODD... he will settle a hand on his back, sympathetic. ]
I would not be so harsh with you, Nodd. You are dear to me, regardless, and I do not relish your pain or your hurt. Would that I could cherish you for all that you are worth.
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Thanks. Must've done it because I didn't have anyone around to correct me.
[ walking over to stand near. up on tip-toes as if he can meet his height. ]
What were you looking at?
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What do you mean?
[ they're looking at each other?? ]
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Before I came in. What were you watching in here?
[ but now they are looking at each other. nodd swallows. go away, hanahaki. ]
Forget it. That's not important. I--
[ .........back on flat feet. ]
--what was it like? After you died?
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[ their weird weekly effects
anyway, looking nodd in the eye, ] Nodd, I hope you will pardon my candidness, but do you have romantic feelings for me?
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If we talk about this...
[ deep in- and exhale ]
I don't know how to be your friend. If we don't, I can. So.
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his expression softens ]
You would prefer to leave it unsaid?
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[ uggggh. coughing into a fist and then using opposite fingers to stuff flowers into a little mashed petal ball. go away. ]
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I would not be so harsh with you, Nodd. You are dear to me, regardless, and I do not relish your pain or your hurt. Would that I could cherish you for all that you are worth.
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[ shifting his shoulders, stepping away from the touch. not sharp or quick, but he can't handle the sensation right at this moment. ]
That's very nice of you.
[ shoving flower hand into pocket, other pinching high on the bridge of his nose. warding off whatever there is rising. ]
I don't need it.
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My apologies. I should not have pushed the matter.
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[ when sadness is hard, there's always anger. ]
If it's so obvious and so pathetically unnecessary, then--
[ pinches harder and then shakes his head (the opposite of a nod(d)) ]
Enjoy being alive. I need to go.
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Very well. I...
[ he doesn't think he should apologize again so he just keeps silent ]
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sorry, dion. you truly did nothing wrong.
best to leave him be for a while, though, especially while anger switch is flipped. ]