murdergate | SPACE COAST: PRIVATE CONVO: SHOMA

[ sure, he can remember. it's hard to forget, actually. your family broke apart a few years ago, and ever since then things have been different you're alone often, trying to fill your empty days with different things. it's part of why you build so often, isn't it? it gives you a sense of accomplishment and allows you to stay busy.

there's no dedication, but upon opening the book nodd will get to see what the real contents are (or at least real in this dream-like memory that's embellishing a little.)

How To Build a Better Father.

thumb through? or do something else? ]

[ this is fine. nothing weird or wrong here. what a title. is this a true memory or a dream? nodd can't quite tell. and he can't contain his curiosity, either.

yes, he will read the first chapter of this ominously named book.

if this is a true memory, it's not as if he couldn't use the advice. ]

[ that's a great question and one that will be answered later when the real shoma shows up at the end of this, maybe.

but, well, to you this is reality. it's been you and your father for the last three years, ever since your mother left and your sister had to go with her. it's been the two of you trying to get by, and your father...your stupid, awful father...clinging to a dream that doesn't even make sense anymore.

you read the first chapter. ]

First, before you begin the construction of your new father, make sure you have all of the parts necessary.

1.) adequate attention. You want your father to pay attention to the things you say and how the things he does can affect you.
2.) financial stability. You want your father to be able to provide, so that you aren't struggling anymore. Your father should be more than capable of making money instead of letting your older sibling work overtime just to keep your heads above water.
3.) appeal. You want your father to be cool. You want a father that isn't lame, a model that won't get you bullied relentlessly by your friends.
4.) faith. You want your father to be someone you can believe in and not this pathetic excuse of an adult that keeps chasing a dream that isn't real and putting his goals before yours.

Once you have the appropriate materials, please see chapter 2.

If you cannot acquire the appropriate materials, please skip to chapter 4.

[ what do you do? ]

[ this is absolutely fucked but also so compelling it's hard not to read every word and let the implications blossom. poor shoma. he's so young and already aware of how often adults will fail him. which is to say: frequently. ]

Kid...

[ is that HIS voice? no more talking unless he has to.

flipping to chapter 4 to at least see what it suggests when the empathy mine runneth dry. ]

[ so you flip to chapter 4. there appears to be a diagram of a man. yes his head really is shaped like this that unfortunately is just what happens. anyway, surrounding the image of this man is a paragraph. ]

You think I could like someone like him? A stupid old comedian who gets clowned on all the time. He barely ever goes on TV either. And when he does it's always some ridiculous thing like getting piping-hot oden shoved into his mouth. The day after he goes on air, I always get made fun of by my friends. I hate it. I'm sick and tired of it! I told you, I hate him! Everything about him! I hate how much he drinks and how he acts so cocky and stubborn when he's drunk. He talks about all these big dreams that he can never achieve. When he sobers up he remembers what he did when he was drunk and squirms under the blankets. Isn't that sad? It makes me hate him even more. The way his nose hair is always sticking out, the way he wipes his face with sanitary napkins, his stupid, awful singing in the bath tub. Everything about him is creepy, awful and pathetic. I hate him.

[ at some point in your reading, you hear a somewhat familiar voice of an extremely angry 12 year old voicing these sentiments.

you turn the page to a photo of a Ferris wheel. one of those pop-up diagrams, and you see the wheel going round and round as another paragraph lays before you. ]

Dad and I are fighting. I ran away from home yesterday. My friends made fun of me because it's my dad's fault for being pathetic. "Pull yourself together! Show me how cool you can be on TV!" That's what I said to my dad, then. "I bring smiles to the audience. If I can do that, I don't care if I get mocked. That's what it means to be an entertainer." When he said that, I blurted out "That's why Mom got sick of you and left!" Dad turned bright red and said, "Then why don't you just leave too?" So I did. That's why I left the house.

[ reading these paragraphs...you feel a sense of anger. you're humiliated. you're frustrated. you're desperate for your father to just listen and stop clowning around and actually try to make your little family work instead of only thinking of his dreams. you used to support him. you used to love his comedy and encouraged him to follow his dreams. and then things got worse. and worse. and worse. the teasing. the lack of money. the times your house is empty because your stupid dad has skewed priorities.

when you turn the page, there's a new assessment quiz. looks like it's time to help program your dad. ]

Career Assessment:
Which of these jobs should your father take?
a.) comedian
b.) businessman
c.) illegal arms dealer

[ make your choice? or you can, like, do something else if you want. ]

[ this is a lot. (also beautiful and intriguing, ty, ty.) from the shape of papa's head to the now reverberating sense of humiliation taking over his body. there are worse parents, surely, but when you're a child, yours are always the only set that matter.

can't exactly give up now.

dad seems to not be a great comedian and while nodd knows about illegal arms dealing (on a minor scale), he suspects that wouldn't work for shoma.

b.) businessman ]

Edited 2024-03-24 22:15 (UTC)

[ you choose b!

but when you go to mark the page, you find your hand moving to turn the book to the section for option c.) illegal arms dealer. ]

So your dad's in over his head, huh? Not like he'd ever tell you. He'd rather keep digging himself in this little hole he's made until he becomes a criminal. The comedy career hasn't worked out, has it? Your dad borrowed some money. And borrowed more. And borrowed more until those people came to collect.

[ a diagram on the page shows what looks to be a very deep hole with two hands trying to pull themselves out. ]

But the yakuza...your dad shouldn't get involved with them, should he? They're dangerous, and illegal, and dealing firearms just for money isn't worth it. Hey, wait, what do you mean he owes them money now, too?

[ outside...you hear the sound of a car, a brief blip of a siren, and soon there's a loud knock on the front door.

do you answer? ]

[ for a second, shoma!nodd attempts positivity: illegal arms dealer. sure. this could work--it immediately goes poorly.

and here come the violent loan sharks.

and there, a siren... acab...

but nodd doesn't think shoma's home will have many knives that aren't kitchen cutlery.

he stands up, flipping through the books as he heads to the front door. is there anything helpful in its pages? ]

[ things sure are happening quickly, aren't they?

you stand up, and as you flip through the pages you find that so, so many of them are blank. everything is empty for a while...until you get toward the end. ]

you'reonyourownyou'reonyourownyou'reonyourownyou'reonyourownyou'reonyourown

[ over and over in giant paragraphs. the knocking persists, and you've reached the end of the book.

now what? ]

[ HEY WHAT? this book is fucking haunted. slamming it shut and putting it anywhere. on the floor. out of his hands. he approaches the door. dare he ask for a peephole? ]

[ you're on your own.

the book's thrown aside and when you look through the small sliver of a window you can see a police car outside. there are two officers at the door, seemingly waiting for you to open it. they don't seem like they're angry or about to arrest you, but the air around them is stern. ]

[ but acab.

but he doesn't know, perhaps the police of shoma's world aren't so bad.

they won't know magic, anyway. probaby. okay. opening the door. hello officers. ]

[ hello nodd. there are no officers, but instead, suddenly, you are bodily turned around as you begin to go through and experience something else until 20:19.

(for reference the conversation with ryuki and tama cannot be heard, and the messages on the phone cannot be seen.)

and soon that fades. the entire house fades? everything disappears, and it's just shoma in a void standing in front of nodd looking extremely tired of that particular memory. hello. ]

SPACE COAST: PRIVATE CONVO: SHOMA

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