Far as what you wanted to know-- I, ah, thought someone else and I were in the same page when it came to what we were agreeing to, and found out later we weren't. So.
Knew it wouldn't be anything permanent, but I... offered anyway. Just to be with him for the time we're here. Guess neither of us was clear enough, because he figured that meant just as a friend who cares about him, not...
-I kinda figured 'just friends' don't exactly kiss, is the thing. But looking back, I don't think he ever initiated it either.
[ big ears are for listening so nodd does precisely that. it stings, a phantom transference of heartache.
he pulls back from the hug but grasps both of gregor's shoulders. ]
The men on this ship are insane and have terrible taste. You're handsome, you can fight, and you have a job where your coworkers adore you. Being rejected now means you can have your pick of better loves later.
Crazy if he didn't want to bone down with you, Greg. I'm serious. Unless it was Shu or Arthur or one of those... men-for-ladies types I hear about, should've gone for it. Could have gotten to know a cool guy.
Didn't want to-- it's not about, ah, wanting to sleep with me or not, that's... I don't think we really need to factor that part in, is all, little bit irrelevant here-
I don't know. Not quite, I think. We both always knew we'd both be going back home-- I've got my contract, and... Artemy's got his own business he has to get back to.
[ it's not pity. if anything, it's immense understanding that's contorting into faint irritation ]
You don't fall for guys with jawlines like that. They are going to let you down doing something shitty and noble. His one true bride is whatever is going to get him killed but seem really good and just.
I knew, Nodd, I knew it wouldn't be anything long term like that, I just still...
[...]
He doesn't have much of a chance for it at home either. Neither do I. I thought I was... being clear in offering him something temporary, while we were both capable of having that.
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Better?
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No more dying in front of me. Go die somewhere I can't see.
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Well, you know I can't make any promises, bud.
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Yeah. I won't hold you to anything too crazy. Let's try staying out of the gutter for the next week, all right? If we can?
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[but, anyway.]
Far as what you wanted to know-- I, ah, thought someone else and I were in the same page when it came to what we were agreeing to, and found out later we weren't. So.
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Oof. I--you know. Not unrelatable?
[ perhaps something that nodd has gone through himself. ]
Or, I've also been on a page in a book it turns out the other person had never even read. It's painful. You heal.
[ you drink so, so, so, so much. you fuck strangers. you heal. ]
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-I kinda figured 'just friends' don't exactly kiss, is the thing. But looking back, I don't think he ever initiated it either.
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he pulls back from the hug but grasps both of gregor's shoulders. ]
The men on this ship are insane and have terrible taste. You're handsome, you can fight, and you have a job where your coworkers adore you. Being rejected now means you can have your pick of better loves later.
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[not just for the rejection (though he's probably right for that too), but just-
he's too much of a good guy for that.]
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[ patpatpat. you. you're the cool guy. ]
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Sorry, right.
[ relationships difficult ]
Maybe he didn't want something meant to be temporary...?
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You don't fall for guys with jawlines like that. They are going to let you down doing something shitty and noble. His one true bride is whatever is going to get him killed but seem really good and just.
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I knew, Nodd, I knew it wouldn't be anything long term like that, I just still...
[...]
He doesn't have much of a chance for it at home either. Neither do I. I thought I was... being clear in offering him something temporary, while we were both capable of having that.
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[ nodd understands. he's desperate and he won't accept temporary if feelings are to be involved.
and nobody is offering long-term.flings ought to be flings. ]
Not your worst mistake and not even close to any of mine.
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...ah, doesn't matter what I wanted.
[mistakes aren't a comparative thing, anyway.]
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[ already got his doublehug, so in the right mood to offer sympathy ]
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[ hands up. surrender. ]
Just a thought. If you can't beat it, own it.