I know.

[ he's been saying that a lot. there's much nodd knows, after all. whether it's put into useful practice or not is another story. a sadder one.

little attention is paid to where they're headed. placing a foot in front of the other takes a lot of attention to detail. ]

Like I said, I didn't--you weren't supposed to be around. I was gonna sit for a short time and then go to my room unless Greg's in there and then I'd...

[ not want to be in the midst of both him and rodya in his present state ]

I know what's 'wrong' with me. But every time, it's--I try to change and there I am again.

[ pushes some hair behind an ear. immediately it slips right back into its original position ]

I miss the monastery. I miss having nothing. Wanting nothing.